


Naiveté, Insanity – A Mad Hatter's Wonder

by Symantra



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Alice in Wonderland References, Alternate Universe - Alice in Wonderland Fusion, Arisa in Wonderland, Crack, F/F, First Meetings, Fluff, Gen, Mad Hatter Layer, Minor Insanity, One Shot, Out of Character, This is a comedy in both senses of the word, Unbirthday Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Symantra/pseuds/Symantra
Summary: "Midst the woodland creatures roam beyond the path on animal's trackSix and half hours fore the gloam, the Hatter hums while the Hare makes at homeWhen from the loam a girl comes, in purple, white, and with headband black."Mad Hatter!Layer meets a girl who doesn't quite seem to belong in Wonderland. And so, of course, she invites her to tea.
Relationships: Hanazono Tae & Wakana Rei, Ichigaya Arisa/Wakana Rei, Satou Masuki & Wakana Rei
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15
Collections: Free Story Sundays





	Naiveté, Insanity – A Mad Hatter's Wonder

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Umicorn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umicorn/gifts).



“How does this look on me?” Rei placed a green satin tophat on her head. After a second of peering at it in the reflection of a teacup, she swapped it with another that looked more or less identical. “What about this one?”

“The second one’s more you.” Tae told her, taking the first hat from Rei and filling it with tea.

“Or maybe this blue one?” Rei pulled out a blue hat from behind her back and put it on over the green one. “I think it brings out my adventurous side.”

“Blue is adventurous?”

Rei plucked at her colorful bow tie. “I feel quite sedentary, wearing green all the time.”

She turned her arms over to see her sleeves shimmer in the light filtering through the canopy. Somewhere in the trees around the clearing, a pack of creatures wandered past, digging through the loam and squeaking, chirruping.

“Why so picky with your hat today?” Tae offered Rei her hat back, now filled to the literal brim with tea. “Sugar?”

“It’s gotta be perfect.” Rei took her hat and dumped the tea out before folding and placing it in her pocket. “What if we get a visitor? I should try to look charming.”

“We never get visitors. Plus, you don’t want visitors, remember?” Tae picked up a tea cup and scooped it through the air. It came back filled with tea.

Rei paused and thought back through the days. Had it been yesterday, after their tea party? Or maybe during yesteryesterday’s tea party? Before yesteryesteryesterday’s tea party?

“I can’t remember.” She gave up, shrugging. “But I still want my hat to be perfect.”

“That’s fair.” Tae conceded and pulled out a pocket mirror. “Do you think I look okay today?”

“You’re fine, but your bow is crooked.”

One of the teapots on the table rattled, and the lid slid off. A tiny head with yellow hair and a disinterested expression popped out of it.

“What’s up with all the racket, Hatter?” The hand-sized figure folded their arms and leaned out of the teapot.

“I’m deciding my wardrobe,” Rei explained, directing a fingertip toward her hat. “What do you think?”

“What’s the point?” The figure ignored her and reclined against the other edge of the pot, putting her arms up as if she were in a hot tub. “You never go anywhere.”

“Because things tend to come to me,” Rei reminded her with a faint smile. “And where do you go everyday, Dormouse?”

“Just out and about.” Masuki turned her palms up and grinned. A dormouse, her tail came up curling into a question mark as she shrugged. “Lot to see in Wonderland, unless you stay in a clearing all the time. Say, mind refueling the Vorpal Galaxy for me?”

Tae reached over and opened up the tank of the motorcycle parked next to Masuki’s teapot. She picked up a red teapot.

“Not with English tea, man!” Masuki nudged her hand away. “Use chai. It’s got so much more kick to it.”

Tae’s ears twitched. “I don’t like chai.” Nonetheless, she listened to Masuki and filled the engine with a pot of chai tea instead.

“Thanks.” Masuki slunk back into her teapot. Tae instantly grabbed it and turned it upside down, spilling chai tea into a row of conveniently located teacups.

Masuki reappeared in a different teapot by Rei’s hand. “Dude, don’t mess with my pot. C’mon.”

Tae pretended not to hear her. “So, you think we’re getting a visitor today?” she asked Rei, tossing Masuki’s pot over her shoulder. It ricocheted hard off a tree and landed back on the table, in the nearest empty space.

“Mm.” Rei pondered it. “Nah. It’s unlikely.”

At that moment, the sound of a chair being pulled out turned both their heads.

“Oh god, I’m beat.” A cute girl with blonde hair set back with a black headband slumped into the chair at the foot of the table. Leafy twigs dirtied her purple and white frock, and her arms were thin and covered in scratches.

“A visitor!” Rei rose from her seat.

“No, she’s beat,” Tae corrected. “Didn’t you hear her?” But Rei was already hurrying down to the other side of the table.

“Excuse me miss,” she called out. “You can’t sit there. There isn’t any room!”

Tae followed, backing her up. “Yeah, there isn’t. Not for you, at least.”

“Ah, sor—wait, what the hell do you mean there isn’t any room?” The girl sat up, alarm on her face. “There’s room along this entire half of the fucking table!”

“Were you invited?” Tae asked, to which the girl opened her mouth then closed it promptly.

“Did you invite her?” Rei looked to Tae, but she shook her head. So she turned back to the girl. “Hmm. What do you think of my hat?”

“Your hat?” The girl hesitated and studied the tophat for a moment. “Uh, I guess it’s nice? It makes you seem, umm, adventurous?”

Rei gasped. “It does! It does.” Her heart swelled with pride. It was a good thing she chose to look her best today, as she did everyday. “Here, come along. Why don’t you sit down with us? I’d like to invite you to our celebration.”

Taking her right arm while Tae took the other, they towed her along to the other side of the table. Rei hooked a chair with her foot and pulled it to the head of the table, right next to her own.

“There’s a bit of room right here,” Rei said with her best smile, guiding the girl to her seat. “Sit down, get comfortable, please.”

Without further words, the three settled into their spaces. Tae looked with mostly hidden jealousy at the newcomer, who sat bolt upright at the table’s head, hands in her lap with fingers curled and palms down.

“You’ve, uh.” The girl fumbled with her words, glancing about the table bestrewn with pots and cups and saucers. “You’ve got a lot going on here. Why all the tea stuff?”

“It’s a tea party,” Rei told her, smiling. She felt as if she were indulging a child’s curiosities. “We love tea, here.”

“Yes, we do,” Tae responded, taking a sip from two cups at once, for she was such a connoisseur that she could do such a thing.

The newcomer paused before straightening with a jolt, as if remembering her whereabouts. Her voice raised until it rang cheerily. “Ah, I see!” And then, as both her hostesses traded teacups and chattered idly, under a breath muttered darkly. “Yet another den of weirdos.”

Rei looked up. “Did you say something?”

“Uh, nope.”

“Oh! I must be hearing things again.” The endearment of Rei’s smile was tampered, slightly, by her unintentional admission to insanity. But before the silence lingered too long, she carried on. “What brings you here? Wait, don’t tell me. Was it me?”

To which, the girl’s reply came instantly: “Literally who are you?”

“Ooh, and she’s blunt too,” Tae simpered. “Blunt and beat.”

Rei handled it all in stride. “I’m the Mad Hatter,” she answered. “Who I am, it’s in my name. I’m only a little mad, though.”

A crease entered the girl’s brow. “Uh huh.”

“But I am a hatter. The only one around here, too.” As she spoke, Rei switched her hat with a red one, then the green one, and then her second green one. “These are four of my favorites. Of course, there are more where these came from.”

“But the last one and the first are—” The girl stopped herself. “Nevermind. They’re all quite nice, I suppose.”

Rei did a poor job at hiding her satisfaction. “Thank you! My friend here doesn’t believe in hats, but I always have. This is the March Hare, by the way.”

“It’s true,” Tae bounced back. “They’re impractical. And that’s me, yeah.”

The teapot in front of the girl shook, and Masuki lifted the lid.

“You just don’t need ‘em around here. You get around fine without one, don’tcha girlie?”

“Girlie?” Shaking off her surprise, the girl stooped toward the teapot, meeting grin with glare. To her credit, she didn’t seem very surprised by Masuki’s sudden appearance. “I have a name, thank you very much.”

“Well, what is it? You’ve’nt introduced yourself.”

“Arisa.”

“Oh.” Still holding the lid over her head, Masuki stuck a hand out. “Nice to meetcha, Aricha.”

“It’s Ari _sa_! _Sa_!”

“Arisasa.” Masuki shook her thumb. “Name’s Dormouse. Don’t forget it.”

“Yuh huh. Whatever.” Arisa’s glare didn’t let up until Masuki disappeared back into the teapot. She cleared her throat and looked back to her more relatably sized companions. “So, what are you three doing here anyway?”

“Hmm?” Rei switched her hat again. Perhaps something more fancy would be to her visitor’s taste.

“You know what I mean.” Arisa trailed away, staring at Rei’s fez. Rei smiled and tucked its gold cord and tuft behind her shoulder. Charm was in the headwear; she had always known it. “What’s the occasion?”

“It’s an unbirthday party,” Rei told her. “Don’t you know?”

“You don’t know?” repeated Tae. Arisa squinted, faltered, sighed, and shook her head.

“Nope. Pray tell. Whatever is an unbirthday party?” Her tone wasn’t of excitement or intrigue, which Rei found strange. She must have been dreadfully disappointed to only learn of this now.

“Well, think of it like this. You only get one birthday a year, right? That’s just one out of 365 days.”

“Imagine only one birthday party a year,” Tae commented.

“I can. That’s normal,” Arisa replied, dull and unenlightened.

“Wouldn’t that be dreary?” Rei went on. “A full year of waiting for a single day a year? Yet in that same year, you also have 364 unbirthdays!”

Tae gasped and raised her hand. “It’s my unbirthday today!”

“It’s mine as well!” Rei gasped too. “A merry unbirthday to you!”

“And to you!”

They poured each other some tea and put their hands together, merriment returned to their moods once more. Rei peeked at their guest to see if she had gotten all that. At the wide-eyed stare she received, she readied herself to explain it once more, but after a second those eyes closed. Arisa sighed.

“That seems nice. Celebrating everyday.”

“Do you not celebrate?” It was Rei’s turn to have wide eyes. “Is it not your unbirthday today?”

“Then it must be her birthday,” Tae suggested, turning to Arisa for confirmation. But to the tea party duo’s mutual surprise, Arisa shook her head.

“I,” she began, only to stop and bite her lip. The duo leaned closer, anticipation on their faces. “I don’t celebrate very often. My parents don’t, at least. I’ve never had a party, unless you count the ones that weren’t really for me.”

“Never had a party...” Rei echoed her words. Her heart seemed undecided on how it wanted her to feel. Perhaps it would beat faster; perhaps it would stop. But before it could choose, she stiffened her lip and dusted her hands.

“Tae.”

“I got it.”

Tae jumped out of her seat and dove beneath the table. A great amount of rummaging about followed. Rei took the time to look warmly at Arisa and take her hand gently. Flustered by her smile, the poor girl glanced between her and Tae’s empty chair.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Why, we’re going to celebrate. Your first unbirthday party.”

Tae popped back up above the table to set down a dessert stand, seven-tiered and lined with cookies, biscuits, and jars of honey and jam.

Arisa’s eyes were still wide as Rei put an arm around her and pulled her to her feet. Rei shoved her favorite teacup into Arisa’s hands; it had no tea, so it was just a cup, but for the moment it was good enough.

“Today, her unbirthday!” she announced, raising a cup in the air.

“Her unbirthday!” Tae chimed along, raising her own.

“A very merry unbirthday to you!” the two sang and swayed, and with Arisa they toasted. Rei and Tae made sure to bring enough enthusiasm for all three of them. Rei took out a hammer and broke one of the teapots on the table, revealing a small cupcake. She stuck a candle in it, then drew a match from her breast pocket and struck it on the side of her hat.

“Blow out the candle, Arisa,” she said, lighting the candle and ushering her forward. “Make a wish, and I’m sure it’ll come true.”

Arisa pursed her lips. After a moment of thought, she took a breath and blew it out. The candle sparked and launched its flame into the air, which exploded in a brilliant firework with a bang rather reminiscent of a motorcycle’s engine.

“YEEEE HAWWWW!” Masuki burst through the pyrotechnics on her hand-sized motorcycle, rotating in the air and landing on the spout of a teapot, using it like a halfpipe to send herself back into the air. “Merry unbirthday, all you sons of bi—whoaaaaooh god!”

Her high-pitched voice faded away as her motorcycle flew beyond the treeline and crashed through the canopy somewhere in the forest.

“Don’t mind her foul mouth. She means well.” Rei clasped Arisa’s hand and sat down. “Tea?”

Arisa didn’t refuse, so Rei filled her cup with tea. Arisa lifted it and took a dainty sip.

“Oh, it’s good.” She took another sip, face illuminant. “Wow.”

Rei and Tae shared a look. To the question in Rei’s eyes, Tae affirmed with a thumbs up.

“That means she’s into you,” Tae whispered into her ear. Rei’s heart turned a circle wider than the one Masuki did in the air moments before. “If you’re gonna ask her anything, do it now.”

Rei swallowed. With a slow movement, she reached behind her back and pulled out her best hat and placed it on her head. Here went everything.

“Arisa, right, was it?” she started, holding her green tophat in front of her chest politely. It was useful having two; oh, the expression one could do.

Arisa hummed then looked up and noticed her hat. She read the words upon its face slowly.

“Women want me... tea leaves fear me?”

Rei smiled. “Isn’t it superb?” Arisa looked stunned. “Anyway, I’ve got a small question. Just one, you know, but it’s important. It is, well, uh... would you—”

At that moment, a thrashing came from the forest path. A red-vested figure with white ears floppier than Tae’s stumbled into the clearing, running past the tea table without so much as a glance.

“Oh no, I’m late, I’m late! And I’m lost!” Her panicked murmurings, frightened expression, and demure demeanor whisked behind Tae’s chair and past Rei. “I can’t be late to this appointment, but fuee-re do I go?”

“The white rabbit!” Arisa stood up, putting her teacup down with a clatter. “I’ve gotta go! Thanks for the party, and the tea!”

“Wait!” Rei held out her hat, her words clinging to the tip of her tongue. “Ahem, uh—please t—”

“Sorry, I really gotta go! I’ll come back if I can!” Arisa hurried off, moving as quickly as she could in her dress and dress shoes. “Oh geez, how is she so clumsy yet so fast? Wait up! Wait a minute! White rabbit!”

In seconds, Arisa, her voice, the white rabbit, and the white rabbit’s voice faded into the distance. Rei rescinded her green hat, which she had been about to offer to Arisa as a memento of their meeting.

“And there she goes,” Rei murmured. She put her hat down over a teapot like a cover and propped her elbows up on the tablecloth. “What a strange girl...”

Tae nodded. “Right?” She reached for a biscuit. “She’s missing out, though. There are only so many unbirthdays in a year.”

Rei nodded but did not answer. She stared dreamily into the trees as Tae chattered on like usual. The forest contained so many wonders—some of them miracles, as far as she was concerned. Arisa had been a lovely guest—the best they had ever had, as well as the first.

“ _I’ll come back if I can!”_ the girl had said over her shoulder whilst running off. Her naiveté marked her as one not from here. Hardly a thing went as planned in Wonderland, after all. Nothing guaranteed she would ever stumble across this clearing again. Rei smiled, completely lost in thought.

Well, one could always make a wish. A wish upon an unbirthday candle might do.


End file.
